Why Is It So Hard?

I live in a building where I get a package slip on my door when the lobby has received a package for me. I’ve been waiting for a very important package for awhile now and looked up the tracking information yesterday for it. Turns out that it was delivered to my lobby and signed for 9 days ago…and I never got a package slip.

I took the delivery confirmation print out to my lobby yesterday but they couldn’t find the package. It’s listed in their book of received packages and I never signed for it (we must sign for it when we pick it up) but alas, they can not find it. The manager is going to call me by noon today to let me know what’s going on.

This is a personalized present that I need two weeks from now and I don’t have time to reorder it and still have it engraved. If they don’t find this package they are going to learn what the wrath of a bridezilla can be like.

I find myself often wondering how simple tasks can be so hard for some people. Where could this package have gone to? It didn’t get up and walk out on its own. It’s the same feeling I get when I go to my favorite drive thru, explain my very simple order 3 times over the intercom, check with the person when I pay that they understood the order, get home, and have some random ass food in my bag.

I mean really?! Are these jobs THAT hard? Chris says that he’s amazed that I can deal with stupid people all the time and then still be surprised when they do stupid things. I’ve tried explaining to him that I don’t understand how someone can be so stupid and yet still rember to breath, eat, sleep…survive at all. I mean, you would think that natural selection would weed out these idiots.

Can you tell I’m having a bad day? Yeah. That package guy better hope he finds that package.

Update: They didn’t find the package.  The company I ordered from was very kind and are going to rush a second order for it.  The building manager is an ass and wants me to file a police report (which I’ll do tonight) and then MAYBE, just MAYBE they’ll reimburse me.  Ugh.

Buttering Me Up

So my co-workers last day was a week ago Friday (that’s why I haven’t been able to blog much, so busy!).  My boss is kind of freaked out because this girl seriously knew everything.  And she didn’t like to share her knowledge.  Nope, liked to keep it locked up tight in that noggin’ of hers and wouldn’t let it out.  Which was fine until she left but now we’re all scrambling to run the office.

In an attempt to butter me up my boss bought me an iphone.  I was so excited…until I actually used the damn thing.  I hate to say it but my iphone sucks.  I cam from a world of Treo and Treo is apparently far superior to Apple.  This phone has no task list, only a few ringtones, you can’t change the tone or volume for text messages, it can’t receive or send pictures message, the list could go on and on.

Of course, now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.  I’d love to go back to my wonderful Treo (which I have to keep anyway because my GPS is on it) but my boss would surely question where my iphone was.  He seemed so excited to give it to me and I can’t bring myself to tell him that it’s crap.  Ugh.  What to do?

Do you think I’m the only person on the planet complaining about having an iphone?  Probably.

Bachelorette Party

This past weekend was my bachelorette party.  My best friend flew in from Virginia and she surprised me with a rented house in the desert.  This house was gorgeous!  5 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, a beautiful outdoor pool and hot tub.  My bathroom had a whirlpool tub in it and a bidet (but I was too scared to use it) and another one of the bedrooms had a sauna IN it.  We’re talking serious luxury people.

Friday night it was just my best friend and I and we went out to dinner and hung out in the pool.  On Saturday another 6 of my good girl friends showed up and we ordered pizza, hung out in the pool, played games, etc.  Saturday night we went to a tepenyaki style place for dinner and had the best chef ever!  He made a penis and balls out of the rice and egg, slapped the grill with his spatula and yelled “Who’s your daddy?”, and made several comments about “liking it wet.”  It was hilarious.

During dinner this little boy who couldn’t have been older than 3 years old came over with his Dad.  His Dad said that the little boy knew it was one of my last nights out and he wanted to know if he could have a kiss.  I kissed the kid on the head and then he looks up at me and says “I fell in the koi pond before dinner.”  Ummm…yeah…great.  Now I have koi pond all over my lips :p

After dinner we went to a dance club and boy did we drink and dance.  It was like freshman year in college all over again.  My future sister-in-law found some hot guy who could really dance and they were inseperable all night.  She even took off her long strand of pearls and put them around this guys neck as she danced and pulled him closer.  Haha, what a little whore my sister-to-be is!

Sunday, a few of us stayed behind and went up this mountain side on an aerial tram.  We traveled 11,000 feet high on a spinning tram.  The view was gorgeous at the top but a word of advice.  Spinning, 11,000 feet, and hangover don’t get well together.

The highlight of the weekend had to be when we were playing catchphrase (for those of you who don’t know this game, you teammate tries to get you to guess a word without saying it).  My future sister-in-law got the device, looks at the words, and is like “I have no idea who this is.”  She finally gets us to say “Leo” and she’s like “Yeah, now keep going.”  Of course the timer ran out and she turns to us and asks “Who’s Leo Pard?”  We all sat there dumbfounded for a moment and then said “Leopard?!”  Yeah, this girl, she done been schooled real good!”

Weird Kid Hyjinks

My Mom has been reminiscing with me a lot recently about what I was like as a little girl.  I think she’s getting nostalgic now that I there’s less than a month until the wedding.  We’ve talked about all kinds of funny stories from my childhood but one in particular always strikes me as funny.

Kids always seem to have some sort of childhood story about poo.  Here is mine.

When I was younger and still in diapers my mom would find me standing behind the doors in the apartment very quietly.   She would ask me what I was doing and without fail I always said “nothing.”  I didn’t seem to be hurting anything so she’d let me be.  One day, she could hear me grunting and she again asked what I was doing.  When I replied with my usual “nothing” she said “Charlotte…I know you’re doing soooomething.”  I yelled back that I was “inspecting the hinges.”

Where I came up with that I don’t know.  We’re not even sure how I knew what hinges were at that age but I knew that I had to think fast.  Had to give my mom an excuse that there was a chance she’d buy.  So yes, that was my excuse.

What’s your funny poo story?  I know you have one.

What is it about August

Is it just me or do your cars always break down in August too?

Last year Chris and I were just hoping that our car would last until after the wedding.  Then comes August and the tranmission dies.  We could either pay $2000 to fix it or trade it in for $1000 towards another car.  We chose to trade it in.

We were smarter this time and got the 90,000 or 6 year warranty on the new one (it was a year old when we bought it with just under 9,000 miles).  On exactly the 1 year anniversary of our buying it, it started to grumble when stopped with the air conditioning on.  We made an appointment to bring it into the shop to have it looked at.

Then, this weekend, the brakes started grinding.  Then they stopped.  Then they were grinding.  Grinding, stopping, grinding, stopping!

It’s in the shop now, with poor Chris stranded there until they fix it.  We had an 8:30am appointment but of course he gets there at 8am with the car and they tell him they can’t see it until 11:00.  Umm…and what was the point of the appointment?!  Apparently they are  ordering a new carbonator (I think tha’s what it’s called) to fix the grumbling and then we’ll have to bring it back tomorrow to have it put it.  (Hmmm…think the appointment will make a difference this time?).  Yeah, and then they told us that the breaks had NO break pads left and that would be $200 please.

Great, $200 car repairs 4 weeks before the wedding do NOT make me a happy puppy.

Overboard

I’m a very organized person. All the files in my desk are colored code and then alphabetized. My dresser drawers have categories. There is an order to the dishes in the cupboard. And that is why when I bought my 2ft by 3ft by 2ft plastic box that I saw no problem in saying that that was where I was going to keep the stuff for the wedding.

Yeah. For two days maybe. Since buying that box my wedding crap has multiplied exponentially. I can’t even see the box anymore. There are Michael’s bags and ebay boxes and more Michal’s bags piled on top of it sky high.

How did it get like this? Am I a victim of having a two year engagement? Has all this time only allowed me to thumb through the Martha Stewart Wedding magazines longer than I should have so that I come up with perfect craft upon perfect craft?

These are the questions I ponder as I painstakingly glue my paper hibiscus flower escort cards together. Yeah, the ones that I thought would be too cute to pass up. That was before I realized that it takes me a half hour to make one. ONE. And I have 110 to do.

Someone save me from my wedding crafts!

Going Deaf

Scuba on Saturday started off terribly.  We hooked up and climbed into all of our rental gear (don’t even get my started on the crapiness of rental gear) and got into the water.  Then, we tried to descend.  We got down to about 20 feet but I could not stay down for the life of me.  If I let go of the anchor or stopped swimming down I would shoot to the surface.

This being the first time that Chris and I scuba’d together just by ourselves (no instructor) it was a learning experience.  I have no navigational instincts so Chris was doing all of the navigating.  When I realized how hard it was for me to stay down I was trying to tell Chris that I wanted to go back and get out.  Ummm…yeah…no one taught us a hand sign for this.  So, I would point in a direction (no particular one) and then do the hand signal for “I want to go up.”  Since I was pointing straight and then pointing up Chris had no idea what I wanted so he assumed I had no idea what I was doing and that I was actually giving him the thumbs up and he’s smile and give me the thumbs up as well.

We finally got out of the water, worked out some new hand signals, rented some heavier weight, and the second dive was much more enjoyable.  Saw some cool black-light colored fish and even had a swarm of Garibaldi’s around us.   Oh yeah, and then there was the swarm of anchovies that englufed us, that was crazy!

The scary part was the next morning, when I woke up early to get my day started because I had a wedding to coordinate for a client.  I went into the bathroom and discovered some dried blood in my ear.  Panicked, I called Chris over who decided that we needed to call the Divers Emergency line.  They paged the on-call doctor for me and after lots of questions he determined that it wasn’t an emergency but that if I still couldn’t hear right or was bleeding today that I should go see someone.  I’m not bleeding and I can hear fine so I guess I’m okay but I’m still a little nervous.  I may end up going to see the doc anyways just to make sure I didn’t mess anything up.

I’m very squeemish and the thought of blood and ear tissue and …..bleh…I can’t even think about it.   And of course, everytime I think about, the sensitivity in my ear goes way up and it’s like I can feel every tiny membrane in there and then I get more nervous all over again.  Yuck, it’s going to be an inner-ear feeling kind of day.

Diligence

Look at me coming back to write so diligently! I know you’re proud!

I’m stoked for tomorrow because Chris and I are going scuba diving. This will be our first dive with just the two of us and no instructor and while I’m a little nervous, I think we’ll have a great time.

The only downside is that we have to be on the boat at 6:15am. Yeah, that’s like, just not Saturday time man. AND I have to be at a wedding I’m coordinating by 9am on Sunday. Guess my body is just going to have to forgo the whole sleeping in thing this week.

Have a great weekend everyone! (Or just Karly since she’s the only one who reads this :p )

What happened to me?

Hmmm…what happened to me? Good question! I don’t really know the answer. Perhaps this whole blog things hit me and I ran away with my tail between my legs. Maybe I’m just lazy. Maybe I went on vacation for a few days and when I came back I felt so guilty for not blogging for a few days that I was scared to come back. Yeah, I think that’s what it was. Hmph.

Okay, I think the best bet is just to cut our losses and move on. Moving on…

So, I’m working on figuring out how to do this whole “bar” thing for the wedding.  Chris and I ideally would like to have beer/wine/and three specialty drinks for a 6 hour bar.  This is where we run into the problem.

The company that you can hire to take care of all this came back with a quote that was a little higher than I had hoped so I’ve been trying to price things out on my own.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to guesstimate what and how much your random family/friends will drink that night?  I mean, what if they just had a terrible day at work and want to get smashed?  Will I have enough alcohol to accommodate them?  Or what if they just converted to Mormonism (is that the right word?) and refuse to drink?  Will I be left lugging all this extra alcohol that I can’t return back to the hotel?  Ugh.  It’s so hard!

My Mom was trying to help me figure all this out while on instant messenger today and she happened to mention that a few people had asked for my address so they could send me gifts.  (Present, for me?!  yay!!!)  Well, I asked her if she thought it was a good idea that when people ask her what to get me, she could just say “You know, they already have lots of stuff but they could really use a few bottle of chambord!”  Do you think  I could stock my bar this way?  Do you think people would think it rude?  Haha, I think I’m a genius!