My last living Grandparent (and really the only one I knew) passed away this morning. She was one month away from turning 93 so she lived a long and happy life. She passed in her own apartment in an assisted living facilty while sleeping so she went peacefully.
But now I feel guilty. Everyone, including my Mom (her daughter), keeps calling me to see if I’m okay and…I am. It’s not a big surprise, she was going downhill for awhile but I feel bad because I have not shed a tear. She wasn’t a particuraly happy person and I don’t have a lot of wonderful memories of her. I wish things were different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not glad or happy or anything like that, I just feel indifferent. She’s probably much happier now where she is.
But I wish I could cry for my Mom. I wish that it seemed outwardly that I am truly upset. Will I be one of those people who never cries when it’s appropriate? Will people think I’m cold-hearted? I just can’t get the tears to fall.
