Drifting Apart

21 02 2008

Last night I had some girlfriends over for pizza and board games.  There were a couple friends that I know through Chris’s office (older and geekier) and a couple of friend that I know through my old job (closer to my age and wilder).  It’s starting to seem like everytime I get together with the friends  from my old job we’re drifting apart and I can’t seem to decide how I feel about that.

These friends are a couple of years older than me, single, and very into the dating scene which is fine.  I’ve gone out to the bars with them a few times but I’m just not at that place in my life where I enjoy shouting over loud music and getting ditched when my friend spots a hottie anymore.  So, I thought last night would be fun.  Something low-key where we could all chat and play silly board games.

Well, the night starts out by one of these friends bringing along another girl without asking.  Okay, fine, whatever.  The more the merrier.  Well, this girl is kind of crazy.  Obviously the low-key get together was a little too boring for her because she starts to talk about how we should have gotten her friend so-and-so to come over and strip and how she gets high.  (I don’t do drugs at all but I try not to hold it against my friends that do so long as they don’t do them around me).  At one point this girl gets up and goes into my kitchen and pours herself a tall glass of midori.  Umm…I had offered sodas but I had NOT offered my alcohol and she didn’t even ask.  Am I making this a bigger deal than it is?  Is it normal for strangers to just help themselves?

So, I was already a little peeved that this girl had come along but we were having a good time anyway.  Well, my friend decided that she wanted to go home and says “Okay, I’m breaking this party up.  I have to go home.”  Okay, it’s only 9:30 but we all have to work tomorrow so I understood.  However, as we’re all chatting and getting ready to part she starts getting really fidgetty and announces again that she wants to go…now.  I don’t know if she was just tired, wasn’t having any fun or what.  She’s a big drinker and I have a feeling that she wasn’t too keen on my soda and lemonade party.

I don’t know where to go with this.  Do I just socialize with these friends on their own terms now even though that’s not where I’m most comfortable?  Do I slowly let go of these friends?  I just feel like we’re in such different places in our lives.

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4 responses

21 02 2008
Oh, The Joys

I don’t really drink much. Truth? I hang with the same for the most part. It’s just simpler. (and with much less drama and regret.)

21 02 2008
Laura B.

Honestly, there are probably only a few friends who you will keep through life changes. It just sounds like your lives are starting to go in different directions and the things that used to tie you together may be what makes you more different. (Also, I would have been major upset at the gal who grabbed the booze without asking.) If you’re uncomfortable around them then you’ll feel better if you’re surrounded with friends with lifestyles that are more like yours.

22 02 2008
jenni

I can count on one hand, minus four fingers, the friends I still have from my single and/or childless days. It’s hard, but things change. I found that I was the one doing the most changing, not them. My priorities changed, the things that I found funny changed (toddlerisms instead of middle-school boy humor, etc.) and my bedtime definitely changed!

You guys may drift apart, but rest assured you will make a new batch of friends that are in the same stage of life that you are.

26 02 2008
melbs1969

i despise going to bars, these days! your party…it sounds like my kind of thing. hanging out, chatting, EATING, chatting!! as i get older…and boy, am i getting older…what seemed lame in my early 30’s sounds waaaaay more fun as i am winding up my 30’s! sigh…i’m getting old…like my mom…waaaa!!
btw…as for my stuff…the people who lived next door to hubbys grandma…they are in florida so, we can’t even ask them until they get back, about who moved the stuff out. i figure, it’s gone. and…i’m trying to look on the upside…it IS only stuff…and as sad as it is…my children are healthy and sometimes happy…so, it’s all good!!
xoxo

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