Kids are Scary

5 03 2008

Last night Chris and I were driving home and started talking about the future, where we’d live, and kids.  Neither of us are ready to have kids anytime soon but the idea of kids has been on my mind a lot lately.

I’m 25 and I’ve never really felt that maternal instinct to want children.  I’m still at that point in life when the screaming brats drive me crazy in a restaurant or on the plane.  I can’t imagine wiping someone else’s poo from their butt or holding their snotty tissue and this worries me.  My Mom always wanted to be a Mom.  She had me when she was 24 and was so happy even though it wasn’t planned.  Now I’m a year older than she was and I still have no urge to have one.

I know I have some time but there’s this part of me that wants to be very successful career-wise and do lots of travelling, etc. and then there’s this clock hanging above my head with the message that in 4.5 years (that seems so short!) it will start to get riskier for me to have a child.

I’ve had friends who said that at 26 or 28 they suddenly felt the urge to have kids but what if I don’t ever get there?  What if I just never feel that maternal instinct?  Or worse, what if I feel it after it’s too late?  If I do have children I’ve always pictured myself having either 2 or 7.  Nothing in between.  If I want 7 bud don’t start having them until I’m 33 then I’m in some major trouble.  I feel like I’m already behind.  Have any of you felt this way before?




2 responses

7 03 2008

I always wanted 7 kids (still do), but an early divorce and then 2 years of infertility seemed to put a stop to that dream. Then when I did get pregnant, at 26, for the first few months, I felt like I just wanted to put everything back the way it was.

But then, I fell in love with him. And then I got pregnant again. And again. And again. And now we’re on our way to 7!

I don’t think you can ever plan perfectly. You will never be fully ready. You just have to learn as you go. And the instinct just comes.

11 03 2008

I never had maternal instinct. I always thought I wouldn’t have children. Then, I (accidentally) got pregnant, and well, even through pregnancy I was curious about what sort of mother I would be. Then, I had Allie and it really did all make sense after that. I think some people, like myself, just have to have their maternal instincts shaken out of them. haha. Some days, I look around and I’m like, “WOW! she’s made it to three with me as a mother. It’s a miracle!” But I enjoy it way more than I would have ever thought I would before I had a child. Okay, I’m through with the world’s longest comment! 🙂

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