RIP Grandma

My last living Grandparent (and really the only one I knew) passed away this morning.  She was one month away from turning 93 so she lived a long and happy life.  She passed in her own apartment in an assisted living facilty while sleeping so she went peacefully.

But now I feel guilty.  Everyone, including my Mom (her daughter), keeps calling me to see if I’m okay and…I am.  It’s not a big surprise, she was going downhill for awhile but I feel bad because I have not shed a tear.  She wasn’t a particuraly happy person and I don’t have a lot of wonderful memories of her.  I wish things were different.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not glad or happy or anything like that, I just feel indifferent.  She’s probably much happier now where she is.

But I wish I could cry for my Mom.  I wish that it seemed outwardly that I am truly upset.  Will I be one of those people who never cries when it’s appropriate?  Will people think I’m cold-hearted?  I just can’t get the tears to fall.

My SSS Present Arrived!

My SSS present arrived this past weekend and I was so excited! I love getting package slips at my apartment and I quickly ran downstairs to grab the package.

It was filled with all kids of goodies:

My SSS Present

My favorite candies, tons of stuff to do my nails with, lip balms, and delicious body lotions!  I can’t wait to make myself my own little spa day!

A huge thank you to my SSS friend Weeksie for all these wonderful gifts!  You’re a doll!

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I’m now in Ohio for the holidays and will return in early January.  The blog will probably suffer, it happens.  :p  But have a great holiday everyone!

Mind Games

About 8 months ago I visited my dermatologist to get the once over on all my spots, etc. (I was convinced to go after a Glamour article totally freaked me out of my mind and made me think I was going to die) Every time the dermatologist would tell me “Oh, this is a *insert some long medical term* my only question to him would be “Okay, but am I going to die?!”

I’m sure he thought I was pretty crazy but he finally stopped telling me about everything and just told me that I was fine and wasn’t going to die. However, I did have a small cyst on my upper back and he told me it was nothing to worry about but to let him know if it got bigger.

Well, it’s on my back so I don’t really look at it often but this weekend I noticed that it was definitely bigger. Last night I lost it. I totally freaked out. My mind started wandering and went from “what if the doctor was wrong” to “what if this is cancer” to “I’m going to die” to “there’s so much more I want to do in life” to “I’m going to miss my Husband so much!” I started bawling uncontrollably, going through a whole box of tissues. I know that this is crazy and I know that it’s probably still fine but I’m freaking out.

I called the doctor this morning and he had an opening for 2pm this afternoon so I’m going down there. I’m leaving town on Saturday though and won’t be back for a few weeks so I’m hoping that if they need to take it out they can do it today, right away, so I don’t have to dread coming back.

I’m a squeamish person and the thought of needles scares me silly. I just want this taken care of. Please send me good thoughts.

P.S. Sorry for the overuse of “totally freaked me out” but I’m not thinking straight today.

Update
I went to the derm and I’M NOT DYING! Yay! But I do have to go back on Jan. 28th for a small surgery to remove the cyst. Boo. Anybody have this done? How bad is it?

Budget Holiday

Christmas is really big in my family. Like, a thousand dollars on gifts big. The tree always has heaping piles of presents under it and then tend to spill out into the hallway. This year though we have to scale it down a bit. It’s costing me so much money just to fly to my Mom’s for Christmas that we’ve instituted a $100 & 3 gift per person rule.

I’m actually having even more fun with the gift buying this way. It really makes me think about what I want to get people. I’m very excited about what I’ve bought so far and I’m excited about the possibilities of what I’ll buy next. The only downside is that I feel like it will be terrible if I get someone something they don’t love since they’re only getting 3 gifts from me. There’s this thing I want to get my Mom, and I think it would be good for her but I’m not sure she’ll actually like it. I’m debating whether to get it and hope she does or to go a safer route.

Either way, this is going to be a great Christmas. I’m looking forward to some snow (hopefully!) and baking cookies, and shopping with my Mom. I’m looking forward to hanging out with my brother (if he can peel himself away from his girlfriend for one. freaking. second.) and snuggling with my doggie.

Awww…yay. Now I’m all sentimental.

P.S. Does anyone else have a hard time getting into the holiday spirit when it’s 80 degrees outside and you have no hope of snow? I miss living somewhere where it snows this time of year.

ROFL Award

This month I awarded an ROFL award to Jenny at thebloggess.com for her post An Open Letter To Apple Regarding Dead Hobo Fingers.  She is one hilarous chicka and I laughed for days after reading this post.

I definitely recommend you go check out her blog…and not just that post…she has more great stuff too!

Congrats Jenny!

Also, check out all the other great people who were nominated over at Oh The Joys.

Halloween

Had a GREAT Halloween this year.   As a former theatre major I really love this holiday.  The getting dressed up, the partying…it’s one of the best.

This year Chris and I went to the West Hollywood Halloween parade.  We’d never been and were a little intimidated.  We’re not the coolest people around but it was so. much. fun!  Everyone was so friendly!  We saw some great costume (love people who do costumes with stilts!) and lots of people asked to take their picture with us.  It was flattery at it’s finest.
Hope you guys had a great one too!

Some Days Just Suck Like That.

Yesterday was a crappy day.  Nothing seemed to go right.  I woke up with a nightmare that only I would have about plane tickets that were overlapping in times and me demanding from the airline desks at the airport that they “find me an earlier flight to Iceland!”  I have no idea why I was going to Iceland but it was a traumatic time management dream non-the-less.

Then, while walking to the bus to go to work (the Hubby was home and therefore I let him keep the car) and gardener tried to turn off his hose but instead turned it on full blast and ripped the hose off of the spout right as I was walking by.  I could see it coming in slow motion but there was nothing I could do about it.  I got soaked.  And the man whose fault it was?  He just looked at me like I had some nerve to go getting soaked by his hose.  I got on the bus and to work drenched.

Then I got called in for a commercial audition.  Great, right?  It would have been but it was an improv audition and I suck at those.  Even though there were no lines, I just had to speak from my brain, I still fumbled the first sentence.

To top it off, as my Husband came around the block to pick me up from my audition he got pulled over by a cop for making a right turn onto this little side strett so he could pull into the driveway where I was.  It’s a two way street but apperently they don’t want you turning there.  Ugh.

I saw him get pulled over from across the street and had no idea what I should do.  Should I go get in the car?  Should I wait till the cop is gone?  It seems like a silly dilema but I didn’t want to make the situation worse so I called my Mom for advice.  Her advice? ” Go over and get in the car because you probably look like a Hooker standing there on the street like that.”  Thanks Mom.

Needless to say I’m glad it’s a new day and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this one goes a little better.

2008 Jack-o-Lantern

It was the weekend of carving the 2008 jack-o-lantern for Chris and I.  We finally broke down and bought one of those little kits with the knives in it.  It was actually much more helpful than I thought it would be. We’re no carving experts but I think this is a step in the right direction!

A-Z, All About Me!

I don’t normally do meme’s but I thought this one over at Decisionally Challenged was very unique so here goes:

A is for age: 26, I’m old right?  I’m startin’ to feel it.

B is for burger of choice: Skinny ones.  I love Mickey D’s.

C is for the car I drive: A 2005 vanilla bean PT Cruiser.  It’s cute but shakes when we’re stopped and have the air on because it doesn’t have the power for it.

D is for your dog’s name: My dog at my Mom’s place in Ohio is named Sam.  He’s the only dog I have right now.

E is for essential item you use every day: My cell phone.  Seriously, I’m lost without it.

F is for favorite TV show at the moment: Gilmore Girls.  Yes, I know it’s over but I just started watching it through netflix and I’m hooked.

G is for favorite game: Catchphrase or Apples to Apples.

H is for home state: You mean where I live now?  California.

I is for instruments you play: Oh my gosh, I’m such an instrument whore!  I play the trumpet, piano, violin, trombone, electric bass, clairinet, and lap harp.

J is for favorite juice: Apple!  or Spicy Tomato…mmmmm…..

K is for whose bum you’d like to kick: I’m actually in a pretty peaceful mood today.

L is for last restaurant at which you ate: KFC, don’t hate me.

M is for your favorite Muppet: Kermie

N is for number of piercings: 2 – one in each ear.  Although I went through a phase in high school where I really wanted my tongue pierced but my Mom put her foot down.

O is for overnight hospital stays: None, thank goodness.

P is for people you were with today: My Husband and co-workers.

Q is for what you do with your quiet time: Read, watch t.v., scrapbook, shop….

R is for biggest regret: I dated a guy in college that I wish I hadn’t.  In the end it just made everyone unhappy.

S is for status: Married, saving for a house.

T is for time you woke up today: 6:55, 5 minutes before my alarm!  Go me!

U is for what you consider unique about yourself: My eyes are bright blue and I think that’s pretty unique.  I’m also a crazy organizer.  I love to organize!

V is for vegetable you love: Corn.  My Mom is always making fun of me because every time I cook a meal it has corn on the side.

W is for worst habit: Stressing out.

X is for x-rays you’ve had: Dental and facial

Y is for yummy food you ate today: Ummm…I’ve only had breakfast so I really haven’t had anything particularly yummy yet.

Z is for zodiac: Gemini

Have a happy Thursday everyone!

Protruding Pimples

Am I 26?  ‘Cause I really thought I was.  But apperently the univese thinks that it’s more fun to pretend that I’m 13.  At least, that’s what this three huge pimples on my face are declaring.  Yes three.  One. Two. Three.

I didn’t have pimples when I was a teenager so I don’t know why I’ve got a face full of ’em now.  It’s amazing how quickly my self-confidence dribbles away in the morning when I look in the mirror only to see a pizza face staring back at me.

I feel like people are all staring.  I work with college students and I feel like they’re laughing at me.  I know they’re not but it still feels like it.  I’m totally paranoid that they’re going to pop or bleed or put goo all over my face when I’m not paying attention and I’ll walk around like even more of a freak all day.

I know that if I really thought about it there are much worse fates and I’m actually pretty lucky but right now it just doesn’t feel like it.  I’m having an ugly week.  It’s like a bad hair day but on your face.