Swimming with Lottifish

My husband has been over his job for awhile now and while he’s making a good attempt at finding a new one, no one is biting yet. He went to film school and has worked with computers for a long time now but he’s trying to break into the video game business. He took many video game design classes in college and has made lots of prototypes, etc. but he’s being told “you need industry experience” at every turn.

This is very frustrating for both of us. How can you possibly gain industry experience if every job in the industry requires some? I’m fairly certain that the people in positions of power in “the industry” these days came from somewhere…somewhere long ago when they didn’t have that coveted experience. And you know what? Someone took a chance on them and now we just need them to repay the favor.

My husband is damn good at what he wants to do. He talk about it all the time and is always working on new projects but he wants to be part of a company and I want that for him so badly. I feel like I’ve always been able to “fix” his problems to some degree and it’s really killing me that I can’t fix this. All I can do is support him and pray with all my might that someone see’s what I see in him.

Here’s hoping…

update: Ignore the fact that I wrote on this same topic, with lots of the same language months ago.  It’s still happening so you’re still hearing about it.

Can I be a total attention whore? My videographer finished my wedding video and put up our very short “highlights reel” on his website. While I’m not sure how to embed video here, here is the link:

RIGHT HERE!

I know it’s probably not nearly as exiting to everyone else but you know what? This is MY blog so I’m gonna’ be an attention whore if I want to :p

Have a happy Wednesday!

Why does it bother me so much that it take my husband 4 days to write an email?  It’s not that he types slowly.  He’s a fine typer.  It’s that he’s a perfectionist.  He’s been working on this one email for 4 days now (including 3 hours last night) and he just can’t seem to send it.  It’s driving me nuts.

I could never spend that much time on an email.  He’ll type a paragraph, re-read it, re-write it, edit it, and then do it all over again…ON THE SAME PARAGRAPH!  I, on the other hand, type out what I want and hit send.  Spelling mistakes and editing be damned!  I just don’t have the time.

I wish that this didn’t bother me so much but it does.  It drives me up the wall that he seems so slow at something that I feel should only take a matter of a 1/2 hour…if that.  Do any of you have a pet peeve of your husband/boyfriend/friend?

Have any of you been watching the “I Can Make You Thin” show on TLC?  I didn’t mean to watch it but I caught the first episode and am hooked.  It’s basically these weight loss tips from this Englishman that seem too goo to be true.  He tells you to eat what you want when you’re hungry, pay attention to your food when you’re eating, and stop when you’re full.

Of course, I’ve found that it’s harder than I thought to stop when I’m full but I’m trying.  And I’m eating at the dining room table a lot more this week instead of in front of the tv which seems to be helping me eat much less.  I’m eating slowly and while I feel a little goofy, if it works I’ll be thrilled.

I did weight watchers a few years ago and lost 40 pounds but I slipped up one week and ended up putting on more weight than I’d lost.  I need a new solution.  I loved weight watchers but I just can’t see myself counting points for the rest of my life.  This new solution really seems like one I can follow because it’s all about listening to myself.

I need to do something.  My jeans are really tight these days and it makes me depressed.  I don’t like lookinig at myself in the mirror and I worry that other people are starting to stare.  My sex life is really suffering (tmi, I know) and I need to lose the weight.

I’m not asking to be a size 4.  A size 9/1o would make me really happy.  Wish me luck with this!

My brother is having a birthday tomorrow.  I wish I could be there but I haven’t bee to one of his birthdays in eight years, we just live too far apart.  And for some reason this year he seems really old.  He’ll be turning 17.

I remember being 17.  (a long 8 years ago) and I can remember how mature I felt and I was sure I knew what was best for me.  Looking back now it seems such a short time ago.  If anyone had told me that I’d be dating the man I’d eventually marry in two short years I would have laughed in their face.  It’s crazy to me to think that he’s at this stage in his life.  I don’t know if it’s so hard for me because of the fact that I haven’t lived with him since was 9, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s going to be an adult soon and go of to college…on his own!  Oh. my. gosh.

The even stranger part about this birthday is that I am starting to feel like I promised I never would.  I don’t fully remember what it was like to be that age.  I don’t fully understand how he can behave a certain way and think it’s okay.  I don’t understand how he can feel like he knows what’s best.  When I was 17 I remember telling myself to take a good look around and remember what the age is like so I can always relate to my future children but already my memories are fading.

It’s sad and I’m feeling old.  I’m starting to feel like I should be an adult (although my heart’s just not in it).  The thoughts of little people (I believe their called children) are starting to pop into my head and I so desperately want a house of my own.  I even found myself saying the other day that I’d really feel successful when I owned my own washer and dryer.  Really?  Is that what my life has come to?

Well, I’m back from visiting the in-laws for Easter weekend where Chris and I tested out our new scuba gear in their pool, we ate much bad food, and I tried to explain to my Mother-in-law why anyone would ever want to blog.

Hubby and I donned all our new scuba gear on Friday and got into the in-law’s salt water pool hoping to see how all the stuff worked.  It was a good thing we did because we found out that my BC (the thing that holds the tank with the air) was too new and so it didn’t have a good grip on the tank and it didn’t take a second thought about letting my tank go.  Glad that didn’t happen in the ocean!   Other than that it was an uneventful trip.  There was lots of scuba traffic (damn small pool!) and we saw some native dive rings and a pool tractor.  I wrote about my sighting in my dive log book that we must keep.

Good times were had by all and now I’m back and ready for Friday.  What?  It’s only Monday?!  Crap.

Why is it that no matter what happens I am  never in love with a new hair cut/color that I get?  Is it that I will never be satisfied?  Is it that my plain brown, cut the same length hair is really best?  Went and got my hair cut and colored last night and Chris says he loves it but I’m not sure if that’s true.  I woke up this morning hating it.  The stylist really loved how it came out so maybe it’s not as bad as I’m thinking it is?  Give me your opinions, honest ones please.

These were taken this morning and I’m so not a morning person so excuse the grumpy face.  The highlights were supposed to be lavender but the blond took to my hair to quickly so we had to deal with whatever coppery color the lavender ended up as.

Do you guys find that it takes you a while to get used to new hair?

I’m ready for a change in my life.  A big change.  It’s been 6 months since the wedding that took me two years to plan happened and without all the stuff to do for that I’m bored.  Ideally I’d like to buy a house, move, get a pet, or something of that nature but it doesn’t look like that’s happening anytime soon.

So, in that case I’ve decided to change my hair.  I currently have long, brown curly hair but it’s boring and I’m ready for something crazy.  I have no idea what would look good on my so I’ve made an appointment for Tuesday with a stylist some friends recommended and she’s going to help me figure out what would look good on me.   I willing to do almost anything.  I’ve even considered lavender streaks.  I can’t wait for the change.

My only concern (since I’ve never dyed my hair professionally before) is what happens when I eventually want to go back to my original color?   Do I have to wait a year for the fake color to grow out?  Can the hairdresser dye my fake color back to my real color?

I’m excited but nervous too.  I hope that Chris likes what I have done and I hope this stylist is as good as everyone says she is.  I’ll definitely post pictures.

I’m still under the weather.  It feels as though I’ve been under the weather since Christmas.  Chris and I just pass it back and forth to eachother and it doesn’t help when my boss brings his daughter who is too sick to go to school into my office and sits her on the couch since he couldn’t find a babysitter.  Uh, thanks dude.

Anyhow, I’m sure I’ll be writing more once I feel better and to the rest of you who are in the same boat feel better soon!

Last night Chris and I were driving home and started talking about the future, where we’d live, and kids.  Neither of us are ready to have kids anytime soon but the idea of kids has been on my mind a lot lately.

I’m 25 and I’ve never really felt that maternal instinct to want children.  I’m still at that point in life when the screaming brats drive me crazy in a restaurant or on the plane.  I can’t imagine wiping someone else’s poo from their butt or holding their snotty tissue and this worries me.  My Mom always wanted to be a Mom.  She had me when she was 24 and was so happy even though it wasn’t planned.  Now I’m a year older than she was and I still have no urge to have one.

I know I have some time but there’s this part of me that wants to be very successful career-wise and do lots of travelling, etc. and then there’s this clock hanging above my head with the message that in 4.5 years (that seems so short!) it will start to get riskier for me to have a child.

I’ve had friends who said that at 26 or 28 they suddenly felt the urge to have kids but what if I don’t ever get there?  What if I just never feel that maternal instinct?  Or worse, what if I feel it after it’s too late?  If I do have children I’ve always pictured myself having either 2 or 7.  Nothing in between.  If I want 7 bud don’t start having them until I’m 33 then I’m in some major trouble.  I feel like I’m already behind.  Have any of you felt this way before?